The lesson of ‘Golden Girl’

Gordon Meriwether
Published: May 28, 2008

Definition — Tolerance: The capacity to endure pain or hardship.

She walked slowly and purposely down the crowded aisle toward me and her US Airways gate at Washington National Airport.

She couldn’t have been more that 8 years old with a sheepish grin that looked like she was getting away with something. She was all decked out in a golden satin dress that looked like a curtain. A plunging neckline and a big bow flower in the front made her saunter like a float in the Rose Bowl Parade. On her head she wore a white bonnet with a flower.

Her parents were nowhere to be seen. She shuffled along slowly toward the gate carefully avoiding tripping over the seam of the floor-length dress. You couldn’t help notice, stare and chuckle a bit, but her demeanor was not one of embarrassment, but rather pride.

I mumbled to myself “this has got to be grandma’s dress and will the old girl be surprised when Golden Girl gets off the plane wherever she is headed.”

People around me smiled but with a disapproving look for the people that would allow a child to dress like this in public. Golden Girl tolerated their disapproval with a small re-turned smile.

I travel a lot these days and airports provide a great place to study tolerance. Airports and airplanes are my second home and in the last two years this home has become a pretty tough place to live. With the reduced number of flights, packed flights, long lines, cancellations, screaming kids, and the list goes on. As seasoning, put the pressure of a summer full of European and Asian tourists taking advantage of the weak dollar, and you have a recipe for anything but tolerance.

One of my favorite hobbies is watching my fellow travelers.  I can sit for hours (sometimes I have no choice) watching the faces, the families, the employees come and go.
Lately there has been a disturbing tension that permeates everything. It is more than the occasional nut case who can’t take the personal abuse of the Transportation Security Administration refusing to allow a 10-ounce tube of “bobalu” cream through security. 

It’s the pressure we apply to ourselves to conform and get somewhere in a hurry. Whether it’s fast food, the bathroom or security lines it’s got to be done quickly and efficiently or our wheels come off.

Each day it gets tougher for each of us those who tolerate —and those who need to be tolerated — but we are all in the same boat. There is a daily challenge to your tolerance quotient that will hunt for you every day of your life. Humans can not escape its clutches. We can manage these challenges, but we can’t avoid them.

But all is not lost to intolerance.

May I offer for your consideration a couple of my antidotes to fortify your personal toleration of the rest of us?

Meditation provides me the ability to briefly disassociate myself from the intolerance of the moment and enjoy the fullness of the experience as a witness. You don’t need to be a Buddhist to learn. I remember my Catholic mother practiced her own brand of meditation when she would pull me out of my daily child ruckus and whisper lovingly “Gordy, calm down and take a deep breath.” Calm down and take a breath, Culpeper.

Humor is my quick reaction shield. Seeing the humor in all of God’s world is an American gift that I have perfected. I can find the humor in almost anything, appropriate or not. The humor allows me to take the sharp edges off the turmoil of the day. Humor allows me to see and experience the reality of the situation. It is just another funny day in the life of this pilgrim; enjoy it.

Intolerance has many faces. Golden Girl looked into each of them as she strode carefully to catch her flight last Saturday. She met their stares the only way she knew how, with the sweet grin of a school girl and tolerance of an angel.

May we learn to tolerate our world with the same warm affection as Golden Girl.

Gordon Meriwether is an independent columnist who lives in Culpeper. He appears every other Thursday in the Star-Exponent. E-mail