Stopping the seven-year itch

James Clements
Published: March 23, 2008

Today my wife and I celebrate our seven-year wedding anniversary, and I'm happy to say the only itch I'm feeling is from my eczema.

Unfortunately, because the idea of a subversive "seven-year-itch" exists, primarily because of the Billy Wilder film (where he had a little help from Marilyn Monroe), I'm also feeling a little like the Wolfman at sunset.

Why would I be afraid of  committing a crime- (Yes, a crime. Ask our own Jason Compton.) I've never had any reason to plot- And who's to say I'd have to be the one scratching in my relationship anyway-

The reality is that both of those concerns are as irrational as fearing a shark during a swim at the beach or being afraid you'll be stuck in the airport just because you're flying through Chicago in mid-winter. Certainly both situations occur, the latter more than the former, but just because it happens to some people doesn't mean it will ruin "your" vacation.

The seven-year itch does have some basis in fact: According to U.S. Census Bureau, numbers show that "first marriages that ended in divorce lasted a median of 8 years for men and women overall. The median time from marriage to separation was shorter: about 7 years."

But even though it sometimes appears that every new marriage comes with a ticking clock toward the inevitable divorce - and certainly our public figures in government and Hollywood don't help this perception with their own relationships - there's actually some bright news for newlyweds.

According to that same Census Bureau report, several signs may point to an increase in stability in the marriages formed today over those formed by our parents:

- The median age at first marriage has increased for both men and women, reaching 27 years for men and 25 years for women in 2003. 

- Data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) indicate that the divorce rate for married women increased sharply between 1970 and 1975, a period when divorce laws were changing, but these rates have actually leveled off since.

- Roughly only one in five adults has divorced. (Doesn't sound nearly as depressing as the 50 percent of all marriages ends in divorce statistic so often reported.)

- For the group of couples who married between 1985 to 1989, 75 percent of people were still married after 10 years.

- While the data do not show large increases in marital longevity, they suggest that the trend toward shorter marriages may have ended for more recent marriages.

Marriages end for a number of reasons, and clearly not all breakups should be lamented. But apparently one of the reasons for an increase in divorces overall is simple longevity - people are living longer. Perhaps a new version of the Billy Wilder film could include Sophia Loren and be called "The 27-Year Itch."

So while I'll breathe easier after I get past anniversary No. 8 next year, I'm not sweating it like I was before. And so that my wife won't think this means I'm coasting too much, I'll buy her flowers and take her out to celebrate seven years tonight. It never hurts to buy a little travel insurance. 

James Clements is a Culpeper resident and
independent columnist who appears each Monday.
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