Change is inevitable

Hope A. Smith
Published: May 22, 2008

There’s a reason why Glen Campbell’s “Rhinestone Cowboy” always brings a tear to my eye.

When I was a kid growing up in then-rural Loudoun County, my parents would take us out for a special dinner to a restaurant called Johnson’s House of Beef in Leesburg. Each table had a juke-box on it, and my dad would keep feeding me nickels to play songs. However, I would play “Rhine-stone Cowboy” over and over. Neither mom nor dad ever told me to stop playing that cotton-picking song!

After 45 years in business, Johnson’s closed last week. The Loudoun County landmark will be replaced by a Chevy Chase bank. My parents knew the owner of Johnson’s, Reed Johnson, and his staff always took care of us when we came in. I suppose it’s a change of the times, but it was some-thing I always took for granted would always be there. It would always be a reminder of my childhood and my dad, giving me nickel after nickel.

Change is inevitable. Anyone who’s been in Culpeper for the past five or ten years knows this.

The first signs of change come for a lot of us when we graduate high school. Those warm, cozy nests we’ve always known as home and school change. Rosanne Cash once said, “The key to change is to let go of fear.” When we’re kids, we are so accustomed to everything being the same, each day of our lives — our parents are there, our home is secure, and despite an occasional hiccup, school is our daily routine. Any major change in our daily life is frightening.

Change can be so intimidating that it can bring about a series of psychological problems. A panic attack is one such psychological problem that can arise. It’s more of a physiological problem, because, according to Wikipedia (and my own experiences), panic attacks are “sudden periods of intense anxiety, mounting physiological arousal, fear, stomach problems and discomfort.”

A panic attack is so much more than that. It’s the feeling that the walls are closing in and you’re going to collapse at any minute, a “fight or flight” situation. Again, citing Wikipedia, “the most common symptoms may include trembling, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, chest pain or tightness, hot flashes, cold flashes, burning sensations in the facial or neck area, sweating, nausea, dizziness or slight vertigo, light-headedness, hyperventilation, tingling sensations, sensations of choking or smothering, and the feeling that nothing is real.”

The above can be caused just by change. I experienced panic attacks right out of high school, when we moved from my childhood home. My fear was that nothing was the same — I was in a new school, different home, different town. Nothing would ever be the same.

It took a few years to overcome my panic attacks and once I did, it was a tremendous victory. Admittedly, probably the key to this was being able to accept change and know that I was going to be just fine. Certainly it is not the “cure-all.” There are a variety of causes for panic attacks, as well as a variety of treatments, including medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, and self-help options.

Have you ever moved to a new house with your child(ren)? They’ve been living in the same house with the same room for some time. There is a comfort level for kids that their lives will be the same, day to day. Settling into a new house takes a period of adjustment for most kids, as it’s a huge change for them.

It’s important that, although it’s best to take one day at a time, we do look at the big picture. We have to teach our children routine, but at the same time, let them know that change is OK.

Change should not be something to fear. It’s nice to go home to the same house every day. It’s comforting to go to the same place of employment or school each day. And it’s comforting to always have those you love surrounding you.

But things change, and life goes one. Loved ones pass away and familiar places are no longer familiar. Things are different, and life goes on.

We must accept the differences and make each day brand new.

Hope A. Smith is an independent columnist and resident of Orange County. Her column appears on Friday.
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