Finding a new life at VMI

Samantha Jones
Published: December 7, 2008

Editor’s note: Samantha Jones began writing a monthly column for the Star-Exponent during the 2007-08 school year, when she was president of the Culpeper County High School senior class. She is now a freshman at Virginia Military Institute in Lexington – one of 35 women in the 450-member class of 2012. VMI went coed in 1997. Samantha will write an occasional column during her first year, when students are called “Rats.” This is her first.

To be honest, I think this is probably one of the hardest columns that I’ve had to write so far. Not hard as in that it has to be a certain length, or turned in by a specific date, or even that it has to be focused on a specific topic, but I think that what is making this so hard to write is finding the right words to describe the past four months.

When I left for VMI on Aug. 23 I was a nervous wreck. The entire morning I was jittery, and my stomach was turning inside and out. Having to say goodbye to my family and enter into a world that I was completely unfamiliar with was scary.

Immediately after saying goodbye to my family I was welcomed into the VMI system. It wasn’t your typical college welcoming, but it was a welcoming none the less, and I began the “rat line.”

In these past four months I have experienced things that I never thought that I would have to face in life: Cliff jumping, marine obstacles, rock climbing, sprinting up mountains, cliff rappelling, pushups a hundred times a day, shining shoes, ironing shirts, shining brass, squaring corners, being unable to listen to music or use my cell phone or even watch movies.

All those things don’t sound normal, I’ll admit, especially for a college student, but life at VMI isn’t supposed to be ‘normal.’ At least that’s what I’m learning.

Honestly, though, those things — all the physical things — aren’t the things that I struggle with the most, because all those things like the aches and pains, and the physical trials go away at the end of the day. It’s the mental and emotional battle that I face every morning that gets to me.

I’m always finding myself asking God over and over, why He has me here and what He wants me to do and what is the point of all of this and when will it be over? All my human and fleshly desires flood my mind every day and it’s a fight and a struggle to fully hold onto the faith that God has given me to be here.

The one word that I could think of to describe my experiences at VMI is “possible.” That’s it, one word — “possible” — that’s all it takes.

Nothing is impossible especially if God is in the mix. Yeah, I have doubts and worries — I’m not perfect — and I am pretty sure that I’m not the only college student feeling the same way.

But through all of this I am learning what faith and trust is all about, and I am learning what it means to know what God’s will really is.

Being at home during Thanksgiving break was difficult, I had to readjust to everything and get out of the little box for awhile and step out and really look at the situation God has placed me in.

I’m not going to try to sugar coat how I feel, or what I’m thinking — that wouldn’t be fair. Life is hard. Change is hard, for everyone, and struggles present themselves to different people in different ways.

We weren’t promised life was going to be easy, we were just promised that we wouldn’t have to do it alone. And even though we are still given that promise, life still feels lonely. I’ll admit it, I feel lonely. I could be surrounded by a million people, I could be getting yelled at by 10 different people at the same time and I still feel lonely.

But the truth is that I’m not alone. God’s promises are real, even though we go through those moments in life when we feel like he isn’t there. But He is, He is what makes everything possible. Sometimes we can’t see the big picture and God only gives us glimpses, and to learn to be OK with just a glimpse of the big picture is a difficult thing to do. But being content with the little glimpse helps get us though the day and to remember that what He has for us is His best.

Right now, I don’t know exactly what the big picture is with life at VMI, but all that I do know is that God is real, and that I would not have made it this far if it wasn’t for His grace. I know that God is doing something within the walls of VMI, I just have to be patient.

This song from a church in Australia, Hillsong, has stuck with me throughout this whole experience. It’s called “None but Jesus,” and some of the lyrics are: “In the chaos and confusion I know that you’re sovereign still, In the moments of my weakness, You give me grace to do Your will. So when you call I won’t delay, this my song through all my days…There is no one else for me, none but Jesus, crucified to set me free, now I live to bring Him praise.”

  I find this so true, that when I feel like I can’t do anymore, and that I have completely reached my breaking point, God’s strength is there to pick me up.

Once I’m done trying to do things in my own strength, God comes and he rescues me and gets me through to the next obstacle of the day.

It’s amazing to me that no matter how much I stumble or doubt, God is unchanging and his strength is always sufficient and He is there when I am at my weakest.

So I’m learning — which is probably a good thing to do when you are in college — I’m learning that all things are possible and that “endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.” (Romans 5:4-5).

If we put our ‘confident hope’ in Christ, and seek to do His will He will do the rest. He will never leave you disappointed and certainly will never leave you alone.

Samantha Jones, 18, is a freshman at Virginia Military Institute. E-mail: