No matter the relationship, they take sacrifices

Laura Kebede
Published: March 26, 2008

It has come to my attention that human life and existence consists of relationships: mother-daughter, sister-brother, friend-friend, man-woman. No matter what stage of life someone may be in, there are relationships interwoven in it and the human heart constantly grapples with how to make them work: when to let a child become independent, or when to move from senseless teasing and fighting to genuine love and compassion, when to be open and honest, or when to commit your life to someone else. This is what life's greatest joys and deepest sorrows are made of.

I've heard it said that every relationship is either growing or declining. There is no middle ground or plateau. Either you are making active steps to improve your friendship or your inaction is destroying it bit by bit. It takes a conscious decision of love to reach out to that friend, parent, child, spouse or sibling to show that you have, still and always will care about them. It's not enough to assume that he/she already knows because love goes the extra mile above and beyond the call of duty.

Consider the examples in two movies I watched recently with a friend. One was "Barefoot in the Park" with Robert Redford and Jane Fonda and the other, "The Notebook" with James Garner and Gena Rowlands. Both stories dealt with romantic love and the ups and downs of lifelong devotion but in dramatically different ways.

Jane Fonda was a high-spirited, careless newlywed who needed frequent reminders that her husband still loved her and constantly yearned for his approval and utmost demonstration of his love. She was easily angered if she did not get what she wanted and would spark insensitive and selfish arguments until settled in her favor. This would account for her flip-flop view on her love for him and her desire to get a divorce a week into their marriage. When he leaves and she comes to her senses, she realizes she must sacrifice things for him as he does for her.

In "The Notebook," James Garner is the hopeful husband who reads the account of his life when he met his wife (Gena Rowlands), to help her overcome her dementia and remember their love. He moves into her nursing home and faithfully stands by her in anticipation of five minutes of recollection of their love story. Each display love as the choice it is to sacrifice what one wants for the other's benefit and longevity and endurance that comes with it.

So, whether it's a difficult friend, trying mother, or impossible sibling, take the time to sacrifice your needs for him or her. The reward will be well worth the cost.

Laura Kebede is a senior at Culpeper County High School. She writes a regular column looking at life at CCHS from her perspective.